Sports

When did the SEC become an offensive conference? I’m confused. I feel like the Big 12. Only, of course, better. Without Graham Harrell, Sam Bradford and an average Colt McCoy I  haven’t heard a lot out of the that particular region. And thank God. I was tired of seeing that mustache on TV. The Big East aside, they may be the weakest conference right now. Wait, the Big 10 is still around? Never mind.

I went a meager 3-2 last week missing the ‘Cats and the ‘Neers. When considering the point spread in the UK vs. UL contest, I failed to recognize a simple rule of gambling: when in doubt, take the points. My SEC pride got the better of me.

As for Auburn, when the hell did they discover how to play offense? This is ridiculous. I won a bet last year saying that Auburn wouldn’t score over 30 points in a game (Tennessee Martin exculded). Now they’re averaging 42? Crazy.

Moving on, here’s how this week breaks down.

First, I’m taking South Carolina to upset Ole Miss. Ok, so this game already happened. But I did pick South Carolina on twitter, so I win.

Tennessee is playing a high school team from Ohio in a game I really shouldn’t even pick. The spread is -23. I’ll take Ohio.

Next on the docket is LSU at Mississippi State. State did well for me last week, demoralizing the intelligents at Vandy. This week they’re getting 12 points at home. I don’t think it’s enough. Everyone virtually eliminated LSU after a loss to Washington, but that win is looking a hell of a lot better since the Huskies took care of USC. LSU is good, maybe the best in the west, and they need a big win for some style points. Only one Bulldog team will win this week and it ain’t State.

Vanderbilt is playing Rice. Ummm.

Auburn is hosting Ball State this weekend in the most boring city in the SEC. I’ve seen more “selling my Ball State ticket!” facebook statuses (stati?) than ever before. Guinness is looking into a world record after they’re done celebrating. Ball State covers the 32 point spread and even worries Auburn in the early stages.

The Alabama vs. Arkansas game is the most intriguing game this week. Alabama is getting 18 points at home. Are they really 19 points better than Arkansas? This concerns me. I’m picking Arkansas to cover only because I’m hoping our defense isn’t THAT bad. But it probably is.

Florida travels to the the Bluegrass this week in what may be a “statement” game for them. The Gators weren’t able to blow out Tennessee as many had hoped and may be looking to release some frustration. I’ll take them -21.5. Sorry ‘Cats.

And finally, the Georgia Arizona State game. For those who listened to the latest edition of Heatin’ Up, you’ll know why I’m picking State to cover. Don’t shoot me. Just take a listen.

High hand scanner for the week: 82

Low hand scanner for the week: 4

Until next time, Ball Hard.